Who hasn’t been in a wobbly relationship – or ‘situationship’ as they now get called – where rowing was perhaps a big part of it as was great sex? The on again off again nature of relationships and frequent fights can often be a source of heightened feeling and lead to situations where passion goes from anger to arousal. Yes, angry make up sex is famously hot! But what perhaps a lot of us do not realise is just why! Yes, it’s the heightened emotion, and yes perhaps it’s that fine line between anger and arousal, but in fact it turns out that make-up sex feels good because of science!
There are a few reasons for this! One reason is that when you think a relationship is over, that it’s done, your ‘attachment system’ is triggered. This is basically an evolutionary trigger that tells us that we need the other person to survive! What the body does in these circumstances then is simply pump us full of hormones to help us find a solution and cope. In fact three hormones in particular contribute to this ‘attachment’ hormone rush – adrenaline, noradrenaline, and testosterone!
A sexual scientist, Megwyn White says that these hormones are triggered when we feel the status quo of a relationship is at risk, meaning it begins to work overtime to save something it thinks is vital to survival. So as wild as it sounds, your body is flinging itself into bed with your ex or soon-to-be ex in order to survive!
Another hormone that plays a big part in why make-up sex feels so good is dopamine. Often referred to as the happy hormone, dopamine is the ‘reward hormone’ which basically flushes your body when you do something that feels good to you (like orgasms for instance). Dopamine also hits you when you’re fighting with someone and sensing that the relationship is over. Hence, it’s almost like it’s giving you a treat for all the extreme feelings.
Norepinephrine is another lesser known hormone that goes into action. It’s a stress hormone that’s often connected with feelings of obsession and longing, which of course we connect with the idea of losing someone important.
The result basically is that your body and brain are primed to experience extremes when you’re in an on-again-off-again relationship with and that make-up sex is the often glorious result!
But don’t think that amazing make-up sex is a sign that you should reconsider your relationship – in fact such extremes of emotion can often denote a toxic dynamic. So now that you know the science perhaps it’s best to avoid it!
